My wife said: that boys could be yours...

Ten years ago I watched television with my wife, the program ‘Spoorloos’ (‘Without a trace’). We always liked watching that program. My wife made a cup of coffee in the kitchen. When she came back in the living room, there were two guys on TV, a twin of almost 50 years old, who sought their father. The boys were born in Surabaya. My wife looked at me and said: 'that boys could be yours...'. In some way or another she saw a resemblance. And then suddenly, my name appeared on screen ...

Wonderfull and awfull

I'm from 1926, so I was 19 when the war was over in the Netherlands. I had to fulfill military service. I wanted to go to the Navy, because I could swim well ... and so I became a Marine. We were young, we did not really care where you went. We were sent to the Dutch Indies because it had to be liberated. And I was happy to go there.
The last day before our departure my mate took me to the pub. It was the first time I was in a bar, and also the first time I got drunk. On the boat to the Dutch Indies I did a boxing match for the first time in my life, I saw a magician for the first time. In the Suez Canal boys dived under the boat when we threw silver coins into the water. When we sailed past the Sahara, we saw coconuts for the first time. Such things, we found that wonderfull.

I was assigned to the MoBats, the motor transport. We had to transport the troops. We drove in GMC cars, trucks with a big point-fifty on top. They were open cars, no cabs. So we were completely in the open. I sat at the wheel with sandbags all around me, to stop the shards of roadside bombs. If you saw a flicker in the tree, you had to be careful. Then our enemies signaled to each other: they are coming. And then we shot them out of the tree. You should also watch out for wires at neck height they flexed over the road. As you drove against it, the wire would cut your throat. It is all that kind of things we experienced.

Two days off

I was stationed in Lumajang. Occasionally you'd get 2 days leave. And then the boys went to Surabaya for a day and a night. There was a marine canteen, with a cinema room and you could play tabletennis and billiards. I had never done such things before. Because I was not somebody that was fond of going out.
There were guys who went to the girls and paid for them. And once every fourteen days, we had to stand in a row. And now I say a dirty word: we had the cocks parade. Then they checked if you had a veneral disease. And if you did, they were not friendly with you!. I was terrified of getting such things. That’s why I did not go to those girls. I've never been out with a girl overthere.
In those years we did not get any parental sexual information. You had to discover everything on your own, how it worked. And in the Netherlands I had never dated a girl. I did not know how to ask them. I did not dare. I was always afraid that they would say 'no'. And if you tried to get a girl in the Netherlands, you could get a hit. Well, so I did not.

But that one time when I once had two days off, I went to Surabaya, to the Marines canteen. I thought, ‘Well, I can go there once, why not?’ That evening an Indonesian band was playing. The canteen was also open for Indonesians. And when I got there, a girl sat there in that Marine canteen marine. She happened to be alone, just like me. I sat down beside her. Well, let's talk a little and stuff. We just talked Dutch. ‘What’s your name, and so on. And I said my name. I may have been together with that girl at most one hour in total. Well, at one point she wanted to go home. I accompanied her to her home. And then it happened. On the way to her house in the village, we came to a bench. That stuff happened where the babies come from. I got it presented on a silver plate, as they say. As a young man you feel in seventh heaven at that time. I had never experienced anything like this, and I did not know what came over me. She did not even take me to her home afterwards. We just split up. I went back to town and the next day I returned to the barracks in Lumajang. I've never ever seen that girl again. It was the one and only time that I dated a girl overthere. My first and last time.
You could get disinfection at the military clinic, to be sure. They wrote it down in a book and there was no further talk about. But it was not all pleasant. So I thought: this was one time, and I will never do it again.
Not long after that we went back to the Netherlands, because it was peace. I have spent a total of barely two years in Indonesia.

A quest on television

In 2005, I was about 70 years old, my wife and I were watching ‘Spoorloos’ on TV. And then my name appeared in the picture: a call for Jo, Joop or Jochem L., who had been stationed in Surabaya. Well, that was an inconvenient surprise! My wife said: ‘did you do that?’ I said:  ‘Well, I do not know ...’ But then my brother was on the phone already. And my granddaughter had called the TV-station, to tell them it could be her grandfather.

When my wife and I had recoverd the initial shock, my wife said, 'Well, let’s make the best out of it.’ We called the TV-station, that we were willing to meet the guys. We had to come to the studio a month later. And there was that moment that I met those boys in the studio, with all these camera’s. All crying and stuff.
I am happy with the boys. And my daughter is very happy too. She said, ‘I've always wanted to have a brother.’ And now she has two. And when the guys came to visit us, the neighbors brought cakes and all that stuff, it was so beautiful. And everyone is happy.

I have had a great time in Indonesia and am glad that I've experienced that period. But for the guys it could have been a little bit more confortable. I never knew about their existence, and they have not grown up with their mother either. I think that's bad for them.
Later, when I heard all of the boys, I got the idea: that girl wanted a boy from Holland, wo she could go there too. And she wanted that no matter what. She is still alive as far as I know, here in the Netherlands. But we have never sought contact with each other.

(text based on an Oral History interview with Jochum L. by Annegriet Wietsma, 2009)

(for the story of one of the sons of Jochum L., you can read the category 'Stories - Warlovechildren in the Netherlands: "We thought you already knew)

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