The new love of Henk Gabel

As a married young man I left as a military for the Dutch Indies in October 1946. But like so many of my buddies, my marriage in Holland could not withstand the distance in time and place. I asked for a ‘separation in the field’, as we called it, which was the normal procedure that would be arranged by the military authorities to make me a free man. But the procedure came to nothing. This brought me into a quandary when I met Noes, my new love, in 1948 at the monthly dance party at the barracks.

For Dutch soldiers there were organised dancing parties with Indo-European girls, who often spoke Dutch nicely, as a distraction. Yet the attitude of these girls was quite different from what I was used to at home. The friendliness and relaxed atmosphere were in stark contrast to the regulated life of the Dutch narrowmindedness. I was overwhelmed, but kept the relationship secret because I was officially still married after all. I also knew from experience that the chaplain and the pastor actively resisted relationships with non-Dutch girls, especially if the girls were of another religion. They therefore already whined to me why I never wrote letters to the Netherlands.

But we were totally in love. Together we saved up for her trip to the Netherlands, which at that time cost 1500 guilders! She worked for a distribution office, I participated in boxing matches. I left with my own platoon on December 3, 1949 from the harbour city Tandjong Priok. Noes embarked on a civilian ship to the Netherlands, pregnant with our first child.

The gouvernmental commitment to returning servicemen that we would get help in finding a home and job, did not work out quite well. Noes and I were on our own. Fortunately we were able to take up with my parents, although we were the seventh and eighth inhabitants in a small house. A few months later a ninth resident came, when our baby was born. Shortly after we were able to marry, after the official separation from my first wife. The marriage would last 58 years, despite her Catholic Indo-European background and my irreligious typical Dutch character. I had said at the beginning: "You can go to whatever church you like, if you only look good after my kids and take good care of the household.”